Well, so much for our dreams of becoming famous and witty bloggers. Yeah, that wasn't our dream, but it's good to know that actual lives have been keeping us from blogging, and not the fact that our mom's kicked us out of the basement and we haven't been able to find a Starbucks with free wi-fi. It's been many-a-moon since I've posted, but I see that my partner in crime let loose about New Year's Eve and all its so called glory... so I will re-introduce myself to another year of meaning-to-blog-but-never-getting-around-to-it in the same fashion. I also want to say that anything I mention about other people religion-wise does not directly reflect my own views and opinions. Oo, I should write DVD warnings...
31 Dec 2005: On the 28th of December, the Asshole came home from work and told me he was leaving. Completely out of the blue, no explanations. Of course, I eventually found out he was giving the finger to the God he supposedly asked into his heart and therefore extending that finger to our marriage (not reflecting my opinion) by cheating on me with his fat ex (does reflect my opinion). But, back then I was shocked and went through one of the most horrible periods of time in my life thus far. So, New Year's Eve '05 was spent doing sound for one of the bands my parents are in. I got paid so in retrospect it could have been worse, but I didn't care that night. I was incredibly uncomfortable, sitting in a romantically lit room at a seemingly expensive settlement for older people, watching a bunch of couples dance on one of my favorite holidays. I racked up a $70 bill for texting my best friend at the time because I couldn't stand it. My mom came over to me at midnight and I think I said something snotty and didn't even look up. I feel really bad about it now, but I was using all my self control that night not to... I don't know... throw champagne at someone. This was also quite possibly the first time I ever really considered becoming a full out lesbian.
31 Dec 2006: I had been seeing someone since the Spring of '06 and he has since earned the title of "worst boyfriend ever." I knew it for a while when we were dating but I stayed with him. Probably because I had just gotten divorced and I inadvertently had to not let anything fail like that again. Or something. The point is when New Year's rolled around, WBE was MIA. Again, as he liked to do very often. I went to a bowling alley with my friend and her friend, but we couldn't bowl until after midnight since they had sold tickets for parties. I can't remember if we actually bowled or not but we spent most of the night, and the big countdown, in the eating area sipping free champagne from a plastic champagne fountain thing. I think WBE called me before midnight, but I missed it, freaked out, called him back and he didn't answer. Also something he did often. I remember thinking that having a crap New Year's was becoming a ritual, and I wasn't happy with that.
31 Dec 2007: I started dating someone in May of '07. It was finally a real relationship and we were very happy for the first year or so. Only problem was that I had yet to be fully introduced to his, we'll call them, "tendencies." Wait, do I have a name for this guy? I seem to remember naming him The One, but that sure as hell ain't gonna fly anymore, so let's just settle it and call him Heartless. There are so many insulting names I could pick from, but the song Heartless is my ringtone for him and I couldn't decide otherwise. Anywhore... it was our first New Year's together and what do we do? We go to a fucking Holiday Inn because him and his brothers and all their friends and all their skanks go there for karaoke all the time and they know everyone. What do I do? I sit there, smiling and nodding if one of the two, maybe three, people there who are nice to me say something, and get ignored by Heartless all night. He gets drunk like he always does and stops to say something to me every now and then, but I just sit there, watching him flirt and dance with everyone but me. It was unfortunately the beginning of a very long and painful second year of mostly the same shit, except getting progressively worse.
31 Dec 2008: New Year's #2 with Heartless. I had tried to make a stand to do something I wanted because of what happened the previous year (not to mention how things had been going in our relationship between the two dates), but he wouldn't have it. We went to his brothers house for another night of him getting drunk, flirting and stopping by where I was sitting - by myself, the whole night - to tell me to cheer up or "fucking smile." He was the last person to kiss me after midnight. After. I decided that I had a headache and left as quickly as I could. I cried on my drive home and couldn't believe he had ruined it again. (Yes, yes, I know at that point I should have believed it because for some reason our stupid relationship lasted for almost 2 years and I had plenty of time to wise up and leave. Point taken, now fuck off.)
31 Dec 2009: I had just started seeing someone I met at a bar that I frequent (and no I don't frequent bars for that, or for drinking, so stop judging me). I guess you could call it dating. I said it from the beginning, he's fucking crazy, and I shouldn't have gotten involved, but I did. We didn't spent New Year's together. I went out with friends and he had to work. I guess it was neither good or bad, but it was just another year that didn't break the cycle, although it came much closer. I guess it's just bad looking back because the guy turned out to be a freak, a cokehead, a liar, a fucked up mess and he really hurt me. It's all over now and it kind of seems like a bad dream, but I guess I should be thankful that I'm still moving further away from that first horrible New Year's.
UJ x
2 days ago
